Shadow work seems simple yet it is uncannily complex.
Wherever you see UNLOVE in the world is the place where you are doing shadow work.
This is usually a place inside of you that lacks awareness, lacks security, or lacks maturity.
In a way, it's a place inside of you that lacks integration.
As such, you engage the outside world with your misgivings, your reactions, your avoidance, your outrage, your pain, and your suffering because it seems easier than engaging with the parts inside of you that are in pain, that are dismissed, that isn't getting the attention it needs.
This, of course, doesn't change what's out there and all the ways it's fucked up, messy, and painful. It doesn't change all the things and people and events out there that cause suffering.
And somehow sometimes you believe that if you were to fix, save, stop, repair, avoid what's out there, it will fix, save, stop, repair, avoid the UNLOVE that lives inside of you. Or at least give you some relief because you're doing SOMETHING about it.
And maybe it does... for a time.
But the dark messy reality is, while the world *may* be getting better in some way, it's far from being perfect. In fact, it's not really clear that it's actually getting better. In some ways it is, but in others ways it's getting worse.
Each time it feels like you're getting something accomplished for the betterment of humanity, each time you try to make a difference, it seems that something else pops up that shows us the work isn't ever done.
Whatever gave you the idea that you can make a real lasting difference?
Whatever gave you the idea that the work might ever end?
Whatever gave you the idea that you can be done with unlove?
Only avoidance of the truth:
Regardless of what you do, reality continues to move forward, and humans will need to contend with their messy existence until they don't. You might make a difference here and there, but it's anyone's guess whether it will be meaningful beyond it being meaningful for you.
Avoiding this truth is the avoidance of shadow work. Shadow work never ends, and the meaning of it is what you make of it and own in the process of learning, growing, and becoming a better human.
This. This is where the betterment of humanity begins. With you.
Knowing all of this, you can look at the process of integrating shadow in a way that is similar to grief:
1. shock ("I can't believe this is happening")
2. denial ("this isn't happening" or "this should never happen")
3. anger ("I'm outraged that this is happening" or "It's X's fault!")
4. bargaining ("If I do X, this will stop happening")
5. depression ("It's happening and it's awful")
6. testing ("What can I (realistically) do about this?")
7. acceptance ("Ok, it's happening and I'm finding ways to move with it")
From there you honestly look at whether these stages live outside of you or inside of you. As long as they seem to live outside of you, you need to continue to look until you find the real pieces that live inside of you, owning your reactions and emotions as YOUR reactions and emotions to what you see out there. You need to be careful not to make things up to satisfy a need to take responsibility for something that isn't yours. If it's not something you ever had choice/control over, or anything you currently have any choice/control over, then it's likely not yours.
What you are left are your own reactions and feelings to work with. What you are left with is the pieces of UNLOVE for you to pick up and hold for yourself.
From there you engage with those pieces with self-responsibility: How is each piece an expression of MY perception of UNLOVE in the world? How can I change, what are the steps I can take to make a difference inside myself so that I engage better with myself and others knowing that this UNLOVE lives inside of me. What is the future self I want to become where I LOVE this part of me that is UNLOVE? What resources do I need to get there that I don't currently have?
This is where you get to pick up these pieces of UNLOVE and put them on yourself like pieces of armor. Take your time, feel their weight, feel all the feelings you spoke of before. These are your pieces and every movement you make is an expression of this armor.
This is #darkwork & #shadowwork